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33 Lessons I’ve Mastered in 33 Years

January 17, 2017 in Grace
33 Lessons I've Mastered in 33 Years

Image Credit Unsplash

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I celebrated my “Jesus Year” back in October. Turning 33 and realizing just how fast the world around me changing, how quickly life can pass you by, helps to put that brief blink of an eye into perspective. But even at the age of 33, I don’t feel as if my life has started yet; rather, I am just beginning my journey. I have had my ups and downs along the way; there are things I wasn’t told, there are things I was told, but I didn’t listen. You’re never too old to learn anything new, and you’re not to young to take advantage of a headstart in life.  Here are the 33 things that I have “mastered” in my 33 wonderful years:

1. Slow down. This is really one of many self explanatory lessons that I am going to mention. Enjoy life and don’t try to rush things. Everything happens in its own time.

2. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Make them and move own. Just try not to repeat them.

3. The end of the journey is just as important as the journey itself. Being so consumed in where you need to be in life, often makes you miss all of the wonderful things and people along the way. If you are so worried about reaching your goal, often times you won’t enjoy it when you get there.

4. Perspective. It’s easy to get upset when things don’t go our way. However, in the grand scheme of things a problem here or there is nothing. If you’re husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend and you are constantly fighting, take a step back and try and see things from their side. If you find that you can’t-let it (or them) go.

5.  If you find yourself swimming with all of the other fish, go the other way.

6.  If your child wants you attention, give it to them. Don’t be annoyed that they are interuppting you. Use it as a reminder of how important it is to spend time with someone you love.

7. Debt ain’t worth it. Credit cards, student loans, house, personal, auto. They cause more headaches in the long run, can ruin your life (if you’re not careful), and cost way more that what you got to begin with. Spend less than you earn, and go without it until you have the money.

8.  There are few joys in life that are better than or even equal to a good book, walk, hug or free. And guess what? All of that is free. (If you don’t get it, please re-read number 7).

9.  Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. It’s easy to get caught up in what you don’t have, instead of focusing on what you do. Take time to be grateful for the amazing gifts you have been given; loved ones, simple pleasures, health and everything in between. Be grateful everyday.

10.  There is nothing wrong with having empathy. In a world where people now use the term “social justive warrior” as an insult, remember one thing: put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s easy to judge when you have no understanding of what someone else is going through. Start with the assumption that what other do or how they feel is valid, and you should try to understand it. Instead of poking fun at “safety pins” and “Play-Doh”, be more empathetic. Life is much better if you learn this.

11. Compassion for others is more important than pleasure. Its a much more fulfilling way to live, rather than closing your eyes to suffering. (See number 10 if you need help)

12. Things are just that things.

13.  Failure is the stepping stone to success. Without it, you would never learn how to succeed. Every now and then try to fail (yes fail on purpose). So often we try to avoild failure because of fear, that when we do fail, we feel as if its the end of the world.

14. Fear will try to stop you. Doubt will try to stop you. Whether you want to seek out a new adventure or create something you feel will be amazing. Become aware of your doubts and fears. Shine light on them. Beat them with a thousand tiny cuts.

15. Tis better to give than to receive. Give with the expectation of not getting anything in return. Too often we given and want an equal measure in return, even if its gratitude or recognition. Try to let go of that need and just give.

16. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something, whether it be a person, job, experience-you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person), and then try to fit the reality into this ideal and are often disappointed. Instead try to experince reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is and be happy that it is.

17. Don’t sit too much. It can kill you.

18. A good walk can help almost anything. Whether its losing weight, wanting to be less stressed-just walk.

19. The road to being fit is a long process and there are no shortcuts. It happens in bits and pieces over time, but it can be done. Don’t give up.

20. Naps are good. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. (However, as an adult I like to call them “horizontal life pauses”.)

21. You’re gonna miss something. We are so caught up in trying to do everything, that we miss things that are essential and we often regret it later on (I missed my first three kids take their first steps, tie their shoes and ride their bikes). The reality is you’ll miss most things. We can’t catch every first, we won’t see every movie, we can’t visit every city on our bucket list, we won’t meet all of the cool people. But the secret is: life is better when we don’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you experience, and it will be wonderful.

22. You can’t change people. Just stop. Don’t bother.

23. Do less. It’s totally okay NOT to do everything. If absolutely feel that you must, then please just stop right now and read number 24.

24. Ask for help.

25. Life is short. Super short. Shorter than you can imagine. It may like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your children grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Just learn to appreciate every damn moment.

26. If you don’t want the world to know, don’t do it. End of story.

27. The moment is all there. All our worries, and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past-it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all of that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right in this moment.

28. Always swallow your pride and say I’m sorry. Futhermore, being too proud to apologize is never worth it-your relationships will suffer for no good reason.

29. I’m not cool and I never will be. Guess what? I’m 100% okay with that. (Usually you can see where a majority of t’s not where I want to be).

30. I have a lot to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I almost know nothing, and that I am often wrong about what I think I do know.

31. Love more.

32. Hate less.

33. No one knows what they are doing as parents. We’re all faking it. Your parents faked it. Their parents faked it, and their parents before them. Some people obsess about the details and miss out on the fun. My only goal is not to mess my kids up, and to show them that they are loved, to enjoy as many moments with them as possible, to show them life is fun, and to stay out of the way of them becoming amazing people I know they will become.

Natasha Brown

Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.

www.themotherhustlerblog.com

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Comments

  1. Brittany says

    January 17, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    I loved this post. I just turned 30 the other day and I also feel like life is just starting. Wonderful list of lessons learned. 🙂

  2. Saidah says

    January 17, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    These are some great points. Many of them I can testify to be accurate. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Becca Michelle says

    January 17, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    These are so some lovely lessons, I felt like I really needed to read today. I often find myself struggling with 3, I need to remember to enjoy my journey not just focus on the finish line xx

  4. mackenzienoelm says

    January 17, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    Aw I love this post so much!! Wonderful advice 🙂

    http://www.brunchonsunday.com

  5. Barb says

    January 17, 2017 at 11:56 pm

    Great post! Im focusing more on giving gratitude this year and so far it has changed my life for the better. I have a more positive outlook on life and overall a happier person.

    http://www.flashesofdelight.com

  6. Jessica Sheppard says

    January 18, 2017 at 12:20 am

    Oh my goodness! Such a fabulous post! Girl, you just about covered everything. Lol! All of these points are great reminders. I’m gonna save this to reflect on this year!

  7. allisonarnone says

    January 18, 2017 at 1:07 am

    Love posts like these where writers are reflective and look back on their past and assess the growth, change and lessons they’ve learned along the way. Despite what happens to us in life – even the bad stuff – it’s what makes us grow as people and as long as we’re learning and adapting along the way, that’s a good thing! It makes us who we are and gets us where we’re supposed to be. 🙂

  8. Planq Studio says

    January 18, 2017 at 2:22 am

    Great lessons! I loved learning #7, even though I learned the hard way. But now that I know better, life is just so much sweeter without all that debt on your back!

  9. Isaly Holland says

    January 18, 2017 at 6:56 am

    Such a great post (: I love how you were humble and gave such good advice. Im going to start slowing down and not sitting as much. But those horizontal life pauses are always gonna be included lol.

  10. Brittany_WMSB says

    January 19, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    The perspective, especially when dealing with others, is something i learned a couple of years ago and seriously has been life changing! I try to tell it to my little sister, but I think maybe it’s something you just have to figure out – life is a lot easier when you start opening your eyes to other’s people’s sides.

    This is a fantastic list! I just turned 31 and I can learn a lot from what you’ve shared. Thanks!

  11. Carly Delski says

    January 20, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    All of these are so great. I’m only 22… there’s so much for me to still learn. Really love “ask for help”. That’s something I’m working on right now. Xx Carly || thecarlycollective.com

  12. Jay Colby says

    January 21, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    These are all great lessons I could relate to a lot of them. But one that stood out was #2 that said “Mistakes are the best way to learn. Make them and move own. Just try not to repeat them”. That one hit me in my soul. Thanks sharing this list!

  13. Julie Cao says

    January 22, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    They are all great lessons and I can relate to most of them. #17 is my struggle, due to full -time blogging, but I have learned to slow down and enjoy the moment.

  14. Kate says

    April 13, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Sooooo much good advice here. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

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Natasha Brown is a mom of four and head sock finder in her home. Grits & Grace was started as a way to meet other southern moms who love everything from their smock dresses and Lily Pulitzer to sweet tea. Let's connect!

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Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in s Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in so many different directions.  But the one thing that has brought joy to my heart was seeing my children enjoy being kids and forgetting the grief that was in their hearts for a few moments.⠀
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The kids and I got to experience a true Chicago winter. We hated it. 🥴 As a southerner, my mind and body are not equipped to handle 16 degree weather. ⠀
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Are you team snow or heck no?
#AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing t #AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing this is by making sure that I am more intentional about my time. As I seek to reclaim my time, one way I am doing so is by spending more time with myself for self-care, comfort, and wellness. One thing that I love to do is to sit with a nice hot cup of @BigelowTea from @Target, which is perfect for this January since it's Hot Tea Month!

My morning tea time consists of the Bigelow® Constant Comment Black Tea flavored with orange rind and sweet spice, and my nightly tea is Bigelow® Lavender Chamomile Herbal Tea. Both taste amazing and leave me feeling refreshed and balanced and ready to conquer whatever comes next! Bigelow® Tea is my #1 choice of tea.

Do you have a favorite hot tea? Tell me about it below! Every cup counts! #TeaProudly #BigelowHugInAMug

Check out my stories to see more about my favorite Bigelow® Tea flavors!
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Sound interesting? Use my code SBNATASHA to get 50% off this or any other @serialboxpub title.⠀
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Serial Box publishes exciting fiction in audiobook and e-book and lets you toggle between formats without losing your place. You can check out their catalog of over 150 titles including sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, historical, and horror genres, plus you get to read and listen to the first episode of every Serial for free. Aly and I can’t wait to to check out some of our favorite characters including Marvel’s Black Widow and Black Panther, and Doctor Who with David Tennant narrating the audiobook as the Doctor!!⠀
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#SerialBox #MemoryLane #SaraShepard #prettylittleliars
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By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
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‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
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Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in s Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in so many different directions.  But the one thing that has brought joy to my heart was seeing my children enjoy being kids and forgetting the grief that was in their hearts for a few moments.⠀
⠀
The kids and I got to experience a true Chicago winter. We hated it. 🥴 As a southerner, my mind and body are not equipped to handle 16 degree weather. ⠀
⠀
Are you team snow or heck no?
#AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing t #AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing this is by making sure that I am more intentional about my time. As I seek to reclaim my time, one way I am doing so is by spending more time with myself for self-care, comfort, and wellness. One thing that I love to do is to sit with a nice hot cup of @BigelowTea from @Target, which is perfect for this January since it's Hot Tea Month!

My morning tea time consists of the Bigelow® Constant Comment Black Tea flavored with orange rind and sweet spice, and my nightly tea is Bigelow® Lavender Chamomile Herbal Tea. Both taste amazing and leave me feeling refreshed and balanced and ready to conquer whatever comes next! Bigelow® Tea is my #1 choice of tea.

Do you have a favorite hot tea? Tell me about it below! Every cup counts! #TeaProudly #BigelowHugInAMug

Check out my stories to see more about my favorite Bigelow® Tea flavors!
This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨ We’re all taking This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨
We’re all taking today to relax and just be together. Sunday’s are the day of rest, after all. 
What do you and your family do for fun on Sunday? Kick back and relax like us? Or maybe brunch? How do y’all make the most of your Sunday💕
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#family #sundayfunday #kickbackandrelax #familytime #familyblogger #bloggermom #mommyblogger #bloggermommy #atlantablogger #georgiablogger #selfcare #selfcaretips
⠀ (Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time ⠀
(Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time in with my teen, especially since she will be off to college in a year. Luckily, she and I have similar interests so it’s always easy to find something to do.⠀
⠀
Aly and I have been listening together to the audiobook of Memory Lane by @saracshepard, and if you or your teen were fans of Sara Shepard’s Pretty Little Liars or of Black Mirror like we are, then this is perfect for you! You can check out this mother/daughter mystery on @serialboxpub starting today! This contemporary sci-fi follows Alex who receives her mother’s implanted memories during a scientific study, and finds out her mom witnessed a drowning years before. Now it’s up to her to evade a killer!⠀
⠀
Sound interesting? Use my code SBNATASHA to get 50% off this or any other @serialboxpub title.⠀
⠀
Serial Box publishes exciting fiction in audiobook and e-book and lets you toggle between formats without losing your place. You can check out their catalog of over 150 titles including sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, historical, and horror genres, plus you get to read and listen to the first episode of every Serial for free. Aly and I can’t wait to to check out some of our favorite characters including Marvel’s Black Widow and Black Panther, and Doctor Who with David Tennant narrating the audiobook as the Doctor!!⠀
⠀
#SerialBox #MemoryLane #SaraShepard #prettylittleliars
Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother y My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother yesterday.⠀
⠀
Even as I type this those words are unreal. He was only 33 years of age. He was honestly my sons best friend, he and my brother are the younger cool uncles, who every kid wishes they had. My husband is my rock, and has been for nearly 12 years. Over the last 8 years I have dealt with death after death in my family and he has been there for me. This time being on the other side, I admit that I do not know what to do.⠀
⠀
We laughed with his sister who asked “when people ask what do you need, what are you supposed to say?” She’s right. None of us know what to say. Is it okay to ask for a cup of coffee, a smoothie, or just someone to vent to?⠀
⠀
My husband is not the type to express his needs. He doesn’t show anger or sadness. So trying to figure out how to support him has been hard. I know he is sick of me asking “are you okay?”, I can’t help it. To support the whole family I’m taking on quite a bit of extra duties and through all of this I have one major thing I have realized- YOU grieve how YOU want to grieve ⠀
⠀
Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to feel normal. Meaning, if you feel sad, please allow the tears to come. If you are angry and you need to vent, allow yourself to safely do so as well.⠀
⠀
Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
⠀
I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
⠀
But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
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