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Co-Parenting and Finances: Making the best of a sticky situation

May 2, 2017 in Finance
Dealing With Finances While Co-Parenting // www.gritnsgrace.com

Co-Parenting and Finances

We all know that raising children is expensive. It is estimated that the cost of raising children through the age of 18 is $233, 610 and according to the USDA the cost of raising a child on a year basis is around $13,000 per year for middle-class families. Housing and food are the two largest contributing factors to those numbers, with the cost increasing should you choose to add extracurricular activities to their schedules. When it comes to co-parenting and finances it can get especially tricky–finances are already one of the leading causes of divorce and separation, but what happens when you are already going through the divorce? What next?

So what happens when you are divorced/single and co-parenting with someone else not in the same household? The cost doubles obviously. This is because the children will then require two sets of furniture to sleep on and use, two sets of clothing; more material goods across two households can add up quickly. These essential things aren’t usually factored in when divorce is considered–although once one spouse moves out they quickly realize the children will need another set of furniture and beds to sleep on when they come visit. Children are unpredictable and as they grow their needs can quickly change.

Once upon a time you and your spouse (or significant other) shared finances and were able to piggy back off the other should times get hard; you are now on your own and probably have a differing financial situation compared to your spouse. While it may be cause for anxiety in some (not all but some) there is no need to panic.

There is no one-size fits all formula for families and especially your children. Even the most amicable of divorces can go astray when finances come into play. Communication is key and coming up with a fair system is a sure fire way to ensure things run smoothly.

Communication & Keeping a Fair System are key to maintaining a stable co-parent relationship. Co-parenting and finances are a touchy subject, while you aren’t expected to agree on every last aspect, becoming passive agressive or trying to “one-up” the other parent can and will lead to animosity. Which is the exact opposite of what you want!

If you and your former spouse are unable to agree on a financial agreement, I highly suggest going into mediation to avoid any further chaos. The key to making co-parenting work is civility. Having a third party step in on the major issues is a great way to keep animosity and disagreements to a minimum. I know that communication does not come easy. From my own personal experience, post-divorce parents are not always going to see eye to eye on certain things; but becoming stubborn and difficult to work with is NOT the way to handle things. This will only lead to more frustration. Excellent communication means keeping the other parent informed of major decisions to ensure they are also able to give their absolute best. Keeping the other parent well-informed on the happenings of the children will allow for better parenting on both sides.

For the parents struggling financially and looking to get a better grip on their finances here is some further reading for you:

The Everything Guide To Personal Finance For Single Mothers Book: A Step-by-step Plan for Achieving Financial Independence

Financial Guide For Single Mothers – Secure Your Family Welfare (Personal Finance Management Series)

The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness

The Money Saving Mom’s Budget: Slash Your Spending, Pay Down Your Debt, Streamline Your Life, and Save Thousands a Year

Nicole

Water, melanin, bones, blood. In route to death, while I’m here, might as well get shit accomplished.

Photographer, fitness enthusiast, blogger, and mother of two.

www.fitfotog.com

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Natasha Brown is a mom of four and head sock finder in her home. Grits & Grace was started as a way to meet other southern moms who love everything from their smock dresses and Lily Pulitzer to sweet tea. Let's connect!

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Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in s Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in so many different directions.  But the one thing that has brought joy to my heart was seeing my children enjoy being kids and forgetting the grief that was in their hearts for a few moments.⠀
⠀
The kids and I got to experience a true Chicago winter. We hated it. 🥴 As a southerner, my mind and body are not equipped to handle 16 degree weather. ⠀
⠀
Are you team snow or heck no?
#AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing t #AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing this is by making sure that I am more intentional about my time. As I seek to reclaim my time, one way I am doing so is by spending more time with myself for self-care, comfort, and wellness. One thing that I love to do is to sit with a nice hot cup of @BigelowTea from @Target, which is perfect for this January since it's Hot Tea Month!

My morning tea time consists of the Bigelow® Constant Comment Black Tea flavored with orange rind and sweet spice, and my nightly tea is Bigelow® Lavender Chamomile Herbal Tea. Both taste amazing and leave me feeling refreshed and balanced and ready to conquer whatever comes next! Bigelow® Tea is my #1 choice of tea.

Do you have a favorite hot tea? Tell me about it below! Every cup counts! #TeaProudly #BigelowHugInAMug

Check out my stories to see more about my favorite Bigelow® Tea flavors!
This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨ We’re all taking This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨
We’re all taking today to relax and just be together. Sunday’s are the day of rest, after all. 
What do you and your family do for fun on Sunday? Kick back and relax like us? Or maybe brunch? How do y’all make the most of your Sunday💕
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.
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#family #sundayfunday #kickbackandrelax #familytime #familyblogger #bloggermom #mommyblogger #bloggermommy #atlantablogger #georgiablogger #selfcare #selfcaretips
⠀ (Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time ⠀
(Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time in with my teen, especially since she will be off to college in a year. Luckily, she and I have similar interests so it’s always easy to find something to do.⠀
⠀
Aly and I have been listening together to the audiobook of Memory Lane by @saracshepard, and if you or your teen were fans of Sara Shepard’s Pretty Little Liars or of Black Mirror like we are, then this is perfect for you! You can check out this mother/daughter mystery on @serialboxpub starting today! This contemporary sci-fi follows Alex who receives her mother’s implanted memories during a scientific study, and finds out her mom witnessed a drowning years before. Now it’s up to her to evade a killer!⠀
⠀
Sound interesting? Use my code SBNATASHA to get 50% off this or any other @serialboxpub title.⠀
⠀
Serial Box publishes exciting fiction in audiobook and e-book and lets you toggle between formats without losing your place. You can check out their catalog of over 150 titles including sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, historical, and horror genres, plus you get to read and listen to the first episode of every Serial for free. Aly and I can’t wait to to check out some of our favorite characters including Marvel’s Black Widow and Black Panther, and Doctor Who with David Tennant narrating the audiobook as the Doctor!!⠀
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Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
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⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
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⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
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This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
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But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
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