Comparison is simply a bitch.
At some point we all have reached a point where we wondered why we weren’t good enough, why couldn’t we have this or that, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Even if we do not want to admit it publicly, each of us has felt it in some form or fashion. Instagram is probably the biggest cause of this. There is no denying that scrolling and looking at beautiful photos can be addictive. But when you start to take those photos and compare your life to someone else’s this can turn into one of the biggest joy killers you may experience.
This is one of the things about being a blogger that bugs me. Somewhere along the way the perfect white kitchen with natural lighting, rattan furniture, and a family perfectly matching in neutral colored clothes became some kind of “standard”.
My level of confidence in my life, family and abilities allows me to not worry or want to play into what others deem as the perfect life. I don’t need the perfectly curated home or epic family vacations every two weeks to feel worthy. But so many of the DMs I receive on IG show that others feel that this is what they need in order to feel worthy.
I get it, seeing these things on a daily basis can take a tool on you mentally. Plus it can be very tempting to compare ourselves to celebrities, bloggers, friends, strangers, etc. for varying reasons.
If you feel inadequate or feel as like you aren’t doing something as best as you could, you can start to feel as if you aren’t working hard enough or doing enough when the reality is you are doing your best.
Plus we have to remember what we see on the gram is not even half of the real story. Do you know how many people put on a front, but are probably going through hell behind the scenes? Remember the grass isn’t always greener.
This has been the one thing I have reminded myself of constantly, as well as what I normally respond with when I get DMs about how do I manage it all or how did I get to where I am.
I made a promise to myself in 2018 that every time I compare myself to someone else in a negative fashion that I would have to say 5 things positive about myself immediately. Doing so has led me to just naturally be kind and patient with myself. I have also started writing down many of these things that I love about myself and have turned them into daily affirmations.
I know that it is not easy to just stop comparing yourself to others. There are times where I do it as well. But what is important is to remember to not let the comparisons steal your joy.
At the end of the day the most important thing is to love yourself first and foremost. If that means unfollowing, blocking, unfriending then so be it. What you should never do is subject yourself to something that brings you constant anguish. So if it (whether it is an app or person) doesn’t put a smile on your face, find something that does.
Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.