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A Few Good Reasons Why Your Kid Is Just Not Into You

October 22, 2019 in Motherhood

By into you, I mean overly affectionate or lovey dovey. As the mother of a nine-year-old with ADHD & Autism, I am used to my son not telling outwardly that he loves me or giving me hugs. As it would with any mother, of course, it hurts, but I have learned over the years that there are other ways he shows his love.

As he has gotten older, we have grown apart in some ways and well, I could tell that sometimes he just wasn’t feeling my presence.

There were little things at first, and I have a feeling he just wasn’t sure how to tell me. Eventually, I caught on, and let him have his own space. Since doing so, he has come around a little more, but it’s still hard when your child grows up and begins to distance themselves from you.

To spare you the same shock and awe I went through, here are a few ways that you can tell that your kid just isn’t into you anymore.

1. They prefer other people over you.

Well if this isn’t a tale tale sign, I don’t know what is. There was nothing Andrew did that blatantly told this, besides the fact that he would sigh, whenever I would suggest he and I do something. He would usually follow it up with, no “I’d rather go hang out with Nana”. What kid prefers to hang out with their grandmother over their mother?Mine, that’s who.

2. No hugs (or kisses-maybe a hi-five if you’re lucky).

There was a time that he wouldn’t let go of me. And this was after he spent his first several years not showing affection at all. So I may have gotten a good two years of the normal happy “I want to be up under mom” little boy that I always wanted before it stopped.

Oh well. At least he tells me bye on the way out the door.

3. They go straight to their room and don’t bother passing “GO” (or saying hello).

He’s at the age where he is spending more and more time in his room. He doesn’t have a television or computer in there, so he plays with his Lego’s. He constantly reminds me (and his little sisters) that he needs his privacy so he can “de-stress”.  Which I am perfectly okay with, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen at nine-years-old.



 4. The Eye-Roll

Yo…this is so not cool. And I promise every time it happens I want to lose it.

5. They don’t want to be seen with you.

I saved this one for last simply because it happens. I never thought it would. When I would see people make comments like “oh well, Bobby doesn’t want me to walk him into school anymore so I won’t embarass him”, I would think-“nope that will NEVER be me. I’m cool, my kids totally adore me”. Then one day it happened.

And I was crushed.

I know without a doubt my son loves me. That will never be a worry of mine. It’s the feeling that he doesn’t need me like he used to that’s hard to deal with.

Natasha Brown

Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.

www.themotherhustlerblog.com

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  1. Kanani B. says

    June 3, 2017 at 1:45 am

    We’re not quite to this stage of parenting yet…but it’s a gentle reminder to cherish the clingyness and hovering while it last.

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Natasha Brown is a mom of four and head sock finder in her home. Grits & Grace was started as a way to meet other southern moms who love everything from their smock dresses and Lily Pulitzer to sweet tea. Let's connect!

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Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother y My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother yesterday.⠀
⠀
Even as I type this those words are unreal. He was only 33 years of age. He was honestly my sons best friend, he and my brother are the younger cool uncles, who every kid wishes they had. My husband is my rock, and has been for nearly 12 years. Over the last 8 years I have dealt with death after death in my family and he has been there for me. This time being on the other side, I admit that I do not know what to do.⠀
⠀
We laughed with his sister who asked “when people ask what do you need, what are you supposed to say?” She’s right. None of us know what to say. Is it okay to ask for a cup of coffee, a smoothie, or just someone to vent to?⠀
⠀
My husband is not the type to express his needs. He doesn’t show anger or sadness. So trying to figure out how to support him has been hard. I know he is sick of me asking “are you okay?”, I can’t help it. To support the whole family I’m taking on quite a bit of extra duties and through all of this I have one major thing I have realized- YOU grieve how YOU want to grieve ⠀
⠀
Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to feel normal. Meaning, if you feel sad, please allow the tears to come. If you are angry and you need to vent, allow yourself to safely do so as well.⠀
⠀
Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
⠀
I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
⠀
But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. Whether he likes it or not. 😂😂😂

He really thought I was going to hit @sisqo ‘s note like that...nah

#blacklovematters #blackcouples #blacklovepage #viralquotes #millennialmarriage #realmomsofinstagram
We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our lives and to make sure our children have better educational opportunities. Being black In Forsyth County...being black in Cumming, Georgia is not easy.⠀
⠀
We have had people drive by us making money sounds as we walk across the parking lot, we were called the n word. This past Tuesday we couldn’t even vote because our names mysteriously were not on the rolls, even though we are registered and received welcome letters from the GOP (and we are far from republicans). My children have even faced racism from their teachers. ⠀
⠀
Being a black American, black mother, black woman is exhausting. I’m terrified when my husband leaves the house. I hate sending my son to school. I hate sending my girls to school. ⠀
⠀
The riot at the Capitol building reaffirmed everything that we were taught as kids. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and the color of your skin does matter. No matter how many times someone says “I hear you, I see you”, the truth is we will never be seen, nor heard. ⠀
⠀
When you are the mother of five beautiful souls and have been trusted to raise them to love everyone, that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s hard to know people question how can you afford the home you have. When you are chillin in the front yard and the cops slow alllllll the way down to see what you are up to. ⠀
⠀
I just want to live my life in peace. I want know that when the mister leaves, he’s good. When my black son walks home from school that he won’t have any problems. When I go to the grocery store the asinine cashier won’t ask if I have an EBT card...which I don’t. But if I did, so the heck what?⠀
⠀
I shouldn’t have to prove that I belong. But everyday I am, it’s exhausting. #blacklivesmatter #realmotherhood #honestmotherhood #blackandmarriedwithkids #blackmillennials #blacklove #blackmotherhood
Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There will always be things that occur that we don’t agree with, but sometimes we just have to let them happen. 

Follow me in the @LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!

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Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother y My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother yesterday.⠀
⠀
Even as I type this those words are unreal. He was only 33 years of age. He was honestly my sons best friend, he and my brother are the younger cool uncles, who every kid wishes they had. My husband is my rock, and has been for nearly 12 years. Over the last 8 years I have dealt with death after death in my family and he has been there for me. This time being on the other side, I admit that I do not know what to do.⠀
⠀
We laughed with his sister who asked “when people ask what do you need, what are you supposed to say?” She’s right. None of us know what to say. Is it okay to ask for a cup of coffee, a smoothie, or just someone to vent to?⠀
⠀
My husband is not the type to express his needs. He doesn’t show anger or sadness. So trying to figure out how to support him has been hard. I know he is sick of me asking “are you okay?”, I can’t help it. To support the whole family I’m taking on quite a bit of extra duties and through all of this I have one major thing I have realized- YOU grieve how YOU want to grieve ⠀
⠀
Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to feel normal. Meaning, if you feel sad, please allow the tears to come. If you are angry and you need to vent, allow yourself to safely do so as well.⠀
⠀
Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
⠀
I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
⠀
But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. Whether he likes it or not. 😂😂😂

He really thought I was going to hit @sisqo ‘s note like that...nah

#blacklovematters #blackcouples #blacklovepage #viralquotes #millennialmarriage #realmomsofinstagram
We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our lives and to make sure our children have better educational opportunities. Being black In Forsyth County...being black in Cumming, Georgia is not easy.⠀
⠀
We have had people drive by us making money sounds as we walk across the parking lot, we were called the n word. This past Tuesday we couldn’t even vote because our names mysteriously were not on the rolls, even though we are registered and received welcome letters from the GOP (and we are far from republicans). My children have even faced racism from their teachers. ⠀
⠀
Being a black American, black mother, black woman is exhausting. I’m terrified when my husband leaves the house. I hate sending my son to school. I hate sending my girls to school. ⠀
⠀
The riot at the Capitol building reaffirmed everything that we were taught as kids. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and the color of your skin does matter. No matter how many times someone says “I hear you, I see you”, the truth is we will never be seen, nor heard. ⠀
⠀
When you are the mother of five beautiful souls and have been trusted to raise them to love everyone, that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s hard to know people question how can you afford the home you have. When you are chillin in the front yard and the cops slow alllllll the way down to see what you are up to. ⠀
⠀
I just want to live my life in peace. I want know that when the mister leaves, he’s good. When my black son walks home from school that he won’t have any problems. When I go to the grocery store the asinine cashier won’t ask if I have an EBT card...which I don’t. But if I did, so the heck what?⠀
⠀
I shouldn’t have to prove that I belong. But everyday I am, it’s exhausting. #blacklivesmatter #realmotherhood #honestmotherhood #blackandmarriedwithkids #blackmillennials #blacklove #blackmotherhood
Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There will always be things that occur that we don’t agree with, but sometimes we just have to let them happen. 

Follow me in the @LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!

#liketkit #StayHomeWithLTK #LTKcurves #LTKunder50
@liketoknow.it
http://liketk.it/35oRm
Let’s talk about manifesting. Every month I sit Let’s talk about manifesting. Every month I sit down and write down my goals and what it is I want to achieve.  I practiced manifestation methods like 33x3 and 55x5. Maybe one day I’ll share how I manifested $15000 in 3 days.

I’ve found that it’s always helped me visualize what it is I want or need. And it has to be absolutely quiet when I do so. 

Do you believe in manifesting? If so, how often do you use this technique? 
#manifestyourlife #manifestthatshit #goalsetter #angelnumbers #spiritualdevelopment #soulpath
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