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How My Parenting “Mixtape” Has Helped Me Navigate the Teen Years

March 17, 2019 in Family & Life

I thought the tween/preteen years were rough, but the teenage years thus far have been quite a trip. Needless to say, I am looking forward to every minute of it. Aly is about to enter the 10th grade and I am so excited for what her future holds. My little overachiever has already started checking out colleges and has chosen 3 that she likes for now. Plus after attending several STEM-based camps this summer, she has her hopes set on becoming an anesthesiologist! I have a tiny tear in my eye.

Parenting a teenager, tween, and a toddler all at one time is challenging to say the least. There are emotions heightened every time I turn around. Couple that with hormones and everything else, my life (and home) are just chaotic.

It’s not all bad.

Preparing your child for the flurry of things to come over the next few years can seem a bit intimidating at first, but I promise it’s not. Establishing that relationship early one and making sure your child knows that they can come to you for anything is key.

Here is my  curated “mixtape” of advice from the Center of Parent and Teen Communication that is helping us appreciate the teenage years.  Make sure you click through to read each article!

Teens and Stress: Everything about being a teenager is stressful. As parents we have to teach them the appropriate ways to deal with it.

Discipline: Nobody is perfect, and teens do have to realize there are consequences for their actions.

Self-Care:This is the perfect age to start getting them in the habit of making sure they take care of themselves first. Naturally they will want to invest in others, but they need to learn about investing in them.

What does “success” look like:  Society has drilled in to kids (and parents) what success should look like. It’s time that we help them learn what “real” success is.

Keep Cool: Emotions are contagious, teens have to learn to keep calm, even when others around them aren’t (or if someone is trying to provoke them).

Turning them into Successful Adults: That’s the ultimate goal right? It’s as simple as seeing them for who they are.

How has my parenting “mixtape” helped me parent

Let them talk

It can be hard sometimes to listen when we receive information that doesn’t always paint us in the best light. But as parents, it’s important that we listen to our kids during this time in their lives and begin to develop an open line of communication between them and us. Sometimes we learn a few things about ourselves that we may truly need to work on, and other times, we can just express to our kids why something is the way it is; just to give them a clearer understanding.

It’s okay to be their friend

When people criticize and say that “too many parents are trying to be their kid’s friends”, I don’t think they realize there are different levels and types of friendships. Even if you want to be buddy buddy with your kids it’s okay. That doesn’t mean that you don’t parent them. It can mean something as simple as making your kid comfortable enough to be open with you.

Also, being your kid’s friend can mean something as simple as hanging out with one another going to concerts or a mother/daughter, parent/child day. Being their friend or a buddy doesn’t mean you lax on the parenting portion of your relationship, but it does allow you to develop a bond with your child in a different way.

Be uncomfortable

In our home, we have many talks that qualify as the talk. But no matter what we were discussing, we always wanted her, as well as the other kids, to know, that they could ask us anything at any time. We never want them to be afraid to come to us. I would much rather them be open with us at the beginning instead of us finding out something the hard way later on.

Relax

This one is for mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, whoever is raising the soon to be a teenager. Relax a little. You have to trust in your parenting abilities up to this point to know that you taught them the right thing to do. We can always hope that our kids will listen, but we never know 100% if they actually will. Don’t spend your time worrying about “what-ifs”.

Use the village

Nowadays, it feels as if the village has disappeared. It’s sad to think that we are so far removed from one another, that it can be difficult to reach out to people who have been there and done that. But I promise it doesn’t have to be that way. Your village doesn’t always have to consist of blood family, but it can be anyone from reliable neighbors, to pastors, or teachers; anyone that you trust to help guide you and your teen during this difficult time.

This post is sponsored by the Center for Parent and Teen Communicatio, all opinions are my own.

Natasha Brown

Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.

www.themotherhustlerblog.com

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Natasha Brown is a mom of four and head sock finder in her home. Grits & Grace was started as a way to meet other southern moms who love everything from their smock dresses and Lily Pulitzer to sweet tea. Let's connect!

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Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in s Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in so many different directions.  But the one thing that has brought joy to my heart was seeing my children enjoy being kids and forgetting the grief that was in their hearts for a few moments.⠀
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The kids and I got to experience a true Chicago winter. We hated it. 🥴 As a southerner, my mind and body are not equipped to handle 16 degree weather. ⠀
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Are you team snow or heck no?
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My morning tea time consists of the Bigelow® Constant Comment Black Tea flavored with orange rind and sweet spice, and my nightly tea is Bigelow® Lavender Chamomile Herbal Tea. Both taste amazing and leave me feeling refreshed and balanced and ready to conquer whatever comes next! Bigelow® Tea is my #1 choice of tea.

Do you have a favorite hot tea? Tell me about it below! Every cup counts! #TeaProudly #BigelowHugInAMug

Check out my stories to see more about my favorite Bigelow® Tea flavors!
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Sound interesting? Use my code SBNATASHA to get 50% off this or any other @serialboxpub title.⠀
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Serial Box publishes exciting fiction in audiobook and e-book and lets you toggle between formats without losing your place. You can check out their catalog of over 150 titles including sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, historical, and horror genres, plus you get to read and listen to the first episode of every Serial for free. Aly and I can’t wait to to check out some of our favorite characters including Marvel’s Black Widow and Black Panther, and Doctor Who with David Tennant narrating the audiobook as the Doctor!!⠀
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#SerialBox #MemoryLane #SaraShepard #prettylittleliars
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By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
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Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
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‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

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Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in s Over the last two weeks I have been stretched in so many different directions.  But the one thing that has brought joy to my heart was seeing my children enjoy being kids and forgetting the grief that was in their hearts for a few moments.⠀
⠀
The kids and I got to experience a true Chicago winter. We hated it. 🥴 As a southerner, my mind and body are not equipped to handle 16 degree weather. ⠀
⠀
Are you team snow or heck no?
#AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing t #AD - 2021 is the year of me. One way I am doing this is by making sure that I am more intentional about my time. As I seek to reclaim my time, one way I am doing so is by spending more time with myself for self-care, comfort, and wellness. One thing that I love to do is to sit with a nice hot cup of @BigelowTea from @Target, which is perfect for this January since it's Hot Tea Month!

My morning tea time consists of the Bigelow® Constant Comment Black Tea flavored with orange rind and sweet spice, and my nightly tea is Bigelow® Lavender Chamomile Herbal Tea. Both taste amazing and leave me feeling refreshed and balanced and ready to conquer whatever comes next! Bigelow® Tea is my #1 choice of tea.

Do you have a favorite hot tea? Tell me about it below! Every cup counts! #TeaProudly #BigelowHugInAMug

Check out my stories to see more about my favorite Bigelow® Tea flavors!
This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨ We’re all taking This is our ✨Sunday Funday✨
We’re all taking today to relax and just be together. Sunday’s are the day of rest, after all. 
What do you and your family do for fun on Sunday? Kick back and relax like us? Or maybe brunch? How do y’all make the most of your Sunday💕
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#family #sundayfunday #kickbackandrelax #familytime #familyblogger #bloggermom #mommyblogger #bloggermommy #atlantablogger #georgiablogger #selfcare #selfcaretips
⠀ (Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time ⠀
(Ad) I’m always excited to get quality time in with my teen, especially since she will be off to college in a year. Luckily, she and I have similar interests so it’s always easy to find something to do.⠀
⠀
Aly and I have been listening together to the audiobook of Memory Lane by @saracshepard, and if you or your teen were fans of Sara Shepard’s Pretty Little Liars or of Black Mirror like we are, then this is perfect for you! You can check out this mother/daughter mystery on @serialboxpub starting today! This contemporary sci-fi follows Alex who receives her mother’s implanted memories during a scientific study, and finds out her mom witnessed a drowning years before. Now it’s up to her to evade a killer!⠀
⠀
Sound interesting? Use my code SBNATASHA to get 50% off this or any other @serialboxpub title.⠀
⠀
Serial Box publishes exciting fiction in audiobook and e-book and lets you toggle between formats without losing your place. You can check out their catalog of over 150 titles including sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, historical, and horror genres, plus you get to read and listen to the first episode of every Serial for free. Aly and I can’t wait to to check out some of our favorite characters including Marvel’s Black Widow and Black Panther, and Doctor Who with David Tennant narrating the audiobook as the Doctor!!⠀
⠀
#SerialBox #MemoryLane #SaraShepard #prettylittleliars
Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
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Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
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I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
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But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
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