• Home
  • Contribute To Our Blog
  • Disclaimer & Privacy Policy
  • COLLABORATE

Grits & Grace: lifestyle & parenting with southern flair

  • Hey, Welcome To Grits & Grace!
  • Home
  • Entertainment
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
    • Keeping Your Family Safe
    • Budgeting
    • Family & Life
  • Motherhood
    • Health & Wellness
    • Pregnancy
    • Self-Care
    • Breastfeeding
  • STEM Fun
  • Travel
    • #DiscoverSC
  • Lit Brown Kids

How Self Discovery Led Me to Become A Better Mother

October 29, 2019 in Motherhood

Growing up being a mom was something I looked forward to more than anything else. I couldn’t wait for the day to have kids of my own. When I had my first child there were days that were so beautiful that I knew being a mother was meant for me; then there were other days that seemed as if I had been thrust into the pits of hell and I couldn’t figure out what on Earth ever prompted me to have kids. I had one of those rough days last week where I was completely drained. I had a couple crazy days at work, my house was a mess, I had barely slept, B was whining over everything and I just broke down. I called Chris and was like I need you to take the kids – I need a couple hours to myself.

Even 15 years later I still have those pits of hell days. There was one day in particular last week where I just couldn’t pull it together no matter what I did. My house looked like a train wreck, I literally ordered take out all week long, and I was just over everything. On top of not being able to sleep because I was stressed out and overwhelmed, I finally cracked and had a complete break down in my husband’s arms.  It was then I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself like I should be.

I know I have written about the importance of self-care before. This is such an easy and important topic to write about, however, making sure you do it is a completely different beast.

Pre-kids I would always set time aside for me. Even with the first couple of kids I always made sure that I took time for myself. Whether it was going to get my hair done or getting a massage. However, since #3 and 4, it has been very difficult for me to always get the time I need to take care of myself.

We often don’t realize that by not taking care of ourselves, not only are we hurting us, we are hurting our family as well.

12 Ways To Increase Your Happiness & Become a Better Mother

  1. GET ENOUGH SLEEP – If you aren’t getting enough sleep, you need to do everything in your power to ensure you start. This whole notion of “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” is absolutely ridiculous. Lack of sleep contributes to a lot of issues, but most importantly overall it just isn’t good in the grand scheme of things.  When I don’t get a full night sleep needless to say I my patience is short and my attitude is bad. Because of this I actively try and make sure I get as much sleep as possible. Granted I work between 6pm-Midnight, at the latest 1 am. And I will often sleep until 6 am. My kids will sleep until 8 am, so I can often sleep in longer if I have nothing to work on, but I like to get up before them and get in a bit of yoga and enjoy a cup of coffee.
  2. HAVE YOU TIME – You need time to yourself! I don’t always have the opportunity to get out during the day like I used to, so I have to get it in where I can fit it in. As previously mentioned that is before the kids wake up.
  3. DONT COMPARE YOURSELF – Social media has a way of making us feel inept or inadequate about our parenting. But the last thing we need to do is compare ourselves to other. As someone who has been in the blogging and social media game for a while, a lot of times these things are staged simply for social media. So just because a picture shows someone with a picture perfect home and Pinterest worthy cooking, that doesn’t mean they aren’t having a hard time.Remember social media is such a small glimpse of people’s lives!
  4. LEARN TO LAUGH – Parenting is tough, but instead of dwelling on how hard it is, learn to laugh. Even in the moments of chaos, a good laugh can make you feel better.
  5. GET READY FOR THE DAY – While it’s all good to wear the standard mom uniform (yoga pants and a tee), every now and then you want to actually want to get dressed. Do your hair and your makeup. It’s not about looking good for anyone, but getting dressed can instantly make you feel better. A good shower and a fresh look are all you need! Embrace the glow up!
  6. WAKE UP EARLY – Waking up early was probably one of the best things I have done for my well being. I absolutely need that time to myself before my kids get up. Being with them 24/7 literally is tough enough as it is, so I always make the extra effort to get in as much time to myself as possible.
  7.  BE GRATEFUL – As with learning to laugh, it’s also important to be grateful for all the moments, both big and small, good and bad that occur.
  8. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE – I am really bad at sitting in the house for days on end (sometimes weeks) with out going anywhere. But it’s important for your sanity and your kids to make sure you get out of the house. You need and the kids both need a change of scenery. Even if it’s just a walk around the neighborhood. You don’t have to drive somewhere, but it’s just important to make sure that you at least try to get out every few days.
  9. ENCOURAGE OTHER MOMS –It’s important for you to recognize you are not alone. If you have friends or family members who are young mothers connect with them and talk about what’s going on. Often times you will find that you are not the only one going through the pits of motherhood. It’s become so taboo that often times we hold it in, so that we can all pretend we have this picture perfect Pinterest-type life, not realizing that by not talking about it, we are doing ourselves and other mothers a disservice.
  10. LET IT GO – Don’t stress about being picture perfect. If something is a mess and you just aren’t feeling doing anything don’t stress getting it done. Whether it’s picking up the house, or finishing those emails for work, sometimes you just need to let it go. You don’t have to try and be super mom.
  11. DON’T FORGET YOUR SPOUSE – It’s important that the two of you continue to take time out for one another. Even if you can’t have regular date nights, try and have one outing at least twice a month. The rest of the time you can always have in-home date nights with one another.
  12. LISTEN TO THEM LAUGH – Embrace this time when they are little. Children grow up so quickly and before you know it they will be off to college. Have fun, get messy and laugh a lot!
Natasha Brown

Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.

www.themotherhustlerblog.com

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
0
Leave a Comment
Previous 3 Things I’m Going To Miss About The Toddler Stage
Next There’s No Love On This Earth, Like The Love Of A Toddler
header ad

Related Posts

Motherhood IS an Accomplishment…Even If You Don&#...

Why I Chose to do Skin-to-Skin Contact After Delivery...

Take the Time to Stop & Smell the Roses

Reader Interactions

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

About

About

Natasha Brown is a mom of four and head sock finder in her home. Grits & Grace was started as a way to meet other southern moms who love everything from their smock dresses and Lily Pulitzer to sweet tea. Let's connect!

Categories

Featured On

Scary Mommy

Subscribe!

Latest

  • A Disney Princess Surprise with Hasbro
  • Winter Skin Care Tips For Kids
  • Meal of the Week: Meatless Cheese Lasagna
  • 5 Inexpensive & Thoughtful Gifts For Someone Special
  • Modern + Classy Farmhouse Christmas Table Setting

Popular Posts

Critiquing the representa...

August 22, 2017

Achieving Work-Life-Balan...

August 25, 2017

1000 Books Before Kindergarten, gritsngrace.com

1000 Books Before Kinderg...

December 29, 2016

When You’re The Mom...

September 21, 2018

5 Things Successful Women...

June 7, 2020

Latest Posts

  • A Disney Princess Surprise with Hasbro

    Lifestyle
  • Winter Skin Care Tips For Kids

    Lifestyle
  • Meal of the Week: Meatless Cheese Lasagna...

    Food

Instagram

Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother y My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother yesterday.⠀
⠀
Even as I type this those words are unreal. He was only 33 years of age. He was honestly my sons best friend, he and my brother are the younger cool uncles, who every kid wishes they had. My husband is my rock, and has been for nearly 12 years. Over the last 8 years I have dealt with death after death in my family and he has been there for me. This time being on the other side, I admit that I do not know what to do.⠀
⠀
We laughed with his sister who asked “when people ask what do you need, what are you supposed to say?” She’s right. None of us know what to say. Is it okay to ask for a cup of coffee, a smoothie, or just someone to vent to?⠀
⠀
My husband is not the type to express his needs. He doesn’t show anger or sadness. So trying to figure out how to support him has been hard. I know he is sick of me asking “are you okay?”, I can’t help it. To support the whole family I’m taking on quite a bit of extra duties and through all of this I have one major thing I have realized- YOU grieve how YOU want to grieve ⠀
⠀
Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to feel normal. Meaning, if you feel sad, please allow the tears to come. If you are angry and you need to vent, allow yourself to safely do so as well.⠀
⠀
Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
⠀
I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
⠀
But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. Whether he likes it or not. 😂😂😂

He really thought I was going to hit @sisqo ‘s note like that...nah

#blacklovematters #blackcouples #blacklovepage #viralquotes #millennialmarriage #realmomsofinstagram
We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our lives and to make sure our children have better educational opportunities. Being black In Forsyth County...being black in Cumming, Georgia is not easy.⠀
⠀
We have had people drive by us making money sounds as we walk across the parking lot, we were called the n word. This past Tuesday we couldn’t even vote because our names mysteriously were not on the rolls, even though we are registered and received welcome letters from the GOP (and we are far from republicans). My children have even faced racism from their teachers. ⠀
⠀
Being a black American, black mother, black woman is exhausting. I’m terrified when my husband leaves the house. I hate sending my son to school. I hate sending my girls to school. ⠀
⠀
The riot at the Capitol building reaffirmed everything that we were taught as kids. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and the color of your skin does matter. No matter how many times someone says “I hear you, I see you”, the truth is we will never be seen, nor heard. ⠀
⠀
When you are the mother of five beautiful souls and have been trusted to raise them to love everyone, that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s hard to know people question how can you afford the home you have. When you are chillin in the front yard and the cops slow alllllll the way down to see what you are up to. ⠀
⠀
I just want to live my life in peace. I want know that when the mister leaves, he’s good. When my black son walks home from school that he won’t have any problems. When I go to the grocery store the asinine cashier won’t ask if I have an EBT card...which I don’t. But if I did, so the heck what?⠀
⠀
I shouldn’t have to prove that I belong. But everyday I am, it’s exhausting. #blacklivesmatter #realmotherhood #honestmotherhood #blackandmarriedwithkids #blackmillennials #blacklove #blackmotherhood
Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There will always be things that occur that we don’t agree with, but sometimes we just have to let them happen. 

Follow me in the @LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!

#liketkit #StayHomeWithLTK #LTKcurves #LTKunder50
@liketoknow.it
http://liketk.it/35oRm
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Hello

Join the Newsletter

Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is o Joy is you at the deepest level, and your joy is one with the infinite timeless joy of this unbound universe.-Robert Ellwood⠀
⠀
I have taken a long hard look at what will bring me joy in this season of my life. With everything that has come to pass two things have stood out to me as being most important; being intentional and being present.⠀
⠀
By being intentional, this means that everything I do has to serve a purpose. Just as I want to keep only things and people in my life who serve a greater good, I want to ensure that I everything I am doing serves a greater good as well.⠀
⠀
Being present means exactly what it says. Live in the moment and stop worrying about “next”. This is a major fault of mine, but I am realizing more and more how important this is in order to maintain a higher quality of life. ⠀
⠀
How are you working to be present and intentional in your daily living. #graceupongrace #blackchristianinfluencers #soulsreconnected #familyiseverything #realmomsofinstagram #honestmoms
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
-Winston Churchill

This is my mantra for the day and probably the next several days. My husband and I received some devastating news yesterday, and I truly don’t know how to react. 

‘Do I post? Do I take a break from social media? Should I take a day off?’
All these thoughts have been running through my head, but through tragedy, we must keep going, that’s what our lost loved ones would want. They would want us to thrive and be mentally and emotionally strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. We may be going through hell, but we will keep going. 

#mentalstrength #emotionalstrength #family #familylove #loss #lossofalovedone #mindovermatter #realmomsofinstagram #itsokaynottobeokay #prayers #prayersforhealing #ifyouregoingthroughhellkeepgoing #pushthrough #focus #takeabreak
My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother y My husband unexpectedly lost his younger brother yesterday.⠀
⠀
Even as I type this those words are unreal. He was only 33 years of age. He was honestly my sons best friend, he and my brother are the younger cool uncles, who every kid wishes they had. My husband is my rock, and has been for nearly 12 years. Over the last 8 years I have dealt with death after death in my family and he has been there for me. This time being on the other side, I admit that I do not know what to do.⠀
⠀
We laughed with his sister who asked “when people ask what do you need, what are you supposed to say?” She’s right. None of us know what to say. Is it okay to ask for a cup of coffee, a smoothie, or just someone to vent to?⠀
⠀
My husband is not the type to express his needs. He doesn’t show anger or sadness. So trying to figure out how to support him has been hard. I know he is sick of me asking “are you okay?”, I can’t help it. To support the whole family I’m taking on quite a bit of extra duties and through all of this I have one major thing I have realized- YOU grieve how YOU want to grieve ⠀
⠀
Try not to fall prey to the belief that you have to feel a certain way or do certain things in order to feel normal. Meaning, if you feel sad, please allow the tears to come. If you are angry and you need to vent, allow yourself to safely do so as well.⠀
⠀
Even in a family, it’s important to remember that we all grieve differently and that in itself can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.⠀
⠀
I’ve spent most of the day calling funeral homes, figuring out clothes needed to dress a deceased loved one, and finding a suit for my son and husband. Now that I have a moment, I’m just watching Chris as he sleeps. Figuring out how to be there for him and my children who are hurting. There are so many things that have occurred in the last 24 hours, and maybe one day I will talk about it.⠀
⠀
But in the meantime hold your loved ones tight. ❤️❤️ #familyisforever
On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. On Saturday we serenade the husband with Dru Hill. Whether he likes it or not. 😂😂😂

He really thought I was going to hit @sisqo ‘s note like that...nah

#blacklovematters #blackcouples #blacklovepage #viralquotes #millennialmarriage #realmomsofinstagram
We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our We moved to Georgia to start the next phase of our lives and to make sure our children have better educational opportunities. Being black In Forsyth County...being black in Cumming, Georgia is not easy.⠀
⠀
We have had people drive by us making money sounds as we walk across the parking lot, we were called the n word. This past Tuesday we couldn’t even vote because our names mysteriously were not on the rolls, even though we are registered and received welcome letters from the GOP (and we are far from republicans). My children have even faced racism from their teachers. ⠀
⠀
Being a black American, black mother, black woman is exhausting. I’m terrified when my husband leaves the house. I hate sending my son to school. I hate sending my girls to school. ⠀
⠀
The riot at the Capitol building reaffirmed everything that we were taught as kids. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and the color of your skin does matter. No matter how many times someone says “I hear you, I see you”, the truth is we will never be seen, nor heard. ⠀
⠀
When you are the mother of five beautiful souls and have been trusted to raise them to love everyone, that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s hard to know people question how can you afford the home you have. When you are chillin in the front yard and the cops slow alllllll the way down to see what you are up to. ⠀
⠀
I just want to live my life in peace. I want know that when the mister leaves, he’s good. When my black son walks home from school that he won’t have any problems. When I go to the grocery store the asinine cashier won’t ask if I have an EBT card...which I don’t. But if I did, so the heck what?⠀
⠀
I shouldn’t have to prove that I belong. But everyday I am, it’s exhausting. #blacklivesmatter #realmotherhood #honestmotherhood #blackandmarriedwithkids #blackmillennials #blacklove #blackmotherhood
Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There Remember: Even the moon goes through phases. There will always be things that occur that we don’t agree with, but sometimes we just have to let them happen. 

Follow me in the @LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app to shop this post and get my exclusive app-only content!

#liketkit #StayHomeWithLTK #LTKcurves #LTKunder50
@liketoknow.it
http://liketk.it/35oRm
Let’s talk about manifesting. Every month I sit Let’s talk about manifesting. Every month I sit down and write down my goals and what it is I want to achieve.  I practiced manifestation methods like 33x3 and 55x5. Maybe one day I’ll share how I manifested $15000 in 3 days.

I’ve found that it’s always helped me visualize what it is I want or need. And it has to be absolutely quiet when I do so. 

Do you believe in manifesting? If so, how often do you use this technique? 
#manifestyourlife #manifestthatshit #goalsetter #angelnumbers #spiritualdevelopment #soulpath
Copyright © 2019 One9Eight3 Media Group 2021 Grits & Grace: · Theme by SheShoppes