And cue the tears 🙂 Its true; my boy is our oldest, and it is a special kind of love. And, while I too love watching him grow and learn, it can be so tough when I stop and think about how much he’s changing!
Having a son is absolutely nothing, like having a daughter. For one, its way easier (except when shopping for clothes because that part sucks), secondly, they are just super cool to be around. Needless to say, once you have a boy, during some point of their childhood, you stop being squeamish (if you ever were).
However, no one ever told me having your only son grow up, right before your eyes would make you an emotional sap. I mean I have yet to feel like this with my three girls (probably because of the hormones that range through our home). With Andrew it is different. I know there will be a day, when it goes from us enjoying Marvel movies together, to “mom, I’m going to take so and so to see the new Ant Man and Wasp movie” (since he will be old enough to date when phase 4 starts). I can honestly say when that happens, I will bawl like a big baby.
Just in the last few years alone he has gone from being Toy Story obsessed, to loving hot wheels, to now being totally enthralled with super heroes. How on earth am I going to handle it, when he falls in love with cars? Or Football? Or when he goes off to college even? And while I am enjoying this stage of motherhood I am in with him now-where he is still becoming familiar with the world, and asking more questions, I can’t help but feel sad or mourn even, the former stages of his development.
The days of watching Cars and Planes are over. There’s no more footie pajamas, and “mommy read me a story”. No more forts in the living, or “can I have bubbles in my bath”. Now there is boxer shorts, deodorant and Axe body wash (thanks to my husband). No more excitement for Disney on Ice or the circus. Instead he wants to come home and hop on his computer for Minecraft (and I promise, I still have no idea what that is). And instead of goodnight hugs or snuggles, its “goodnight mom” as he walks into his bedroom and promptly shuts his door.
The good thing is, even as he gets older, for right now,we are getting closer. Sure he may always enjoy the same activities from one year to the next. But there are things that he loves to say are just for he and mommy. He knows right now that I’ll love him forever, and love him for always. I just hope always continues to remember that.
Love of impromptu dance parties, 80’s cartoons, and horizontal life pauses (aka naps); Natasha Brown is a stay at home mom of 4 kids, and wife to one lucky guy! In her spare time, she is co-editor of Grits & Grace, as well as editor for The Mother Hustler Blog and Creative Director for the Mother Hustler podcast.